Bastard Boy

unreliable disease-prone unhygienic ugly temperamental purple demanding needy pushy yard – king of your nether-garments, death-bound baby-bringer, veined by greedy pulsing blind & nervous weeping sour-soup

you ask too much

this woman does not desire your flesh

bastard boy

thrill her with a shiny toy, not one of those purpose-built, she craves surprises under her quilt

do her like you mean it, with things she wasn’t meant for

diamond-crusted cucumber

spine-covered brunt of a boll weevil

airfix model of a spitfire

fossilised snout of a platypus

souvenir eiffel tower

feathered hilt of a cold flamingo

dusty art deco lady lamp

strap-on modernist housing scheme

repro rococo table leg

silver alessi lemon squeezer

pseudo pleaser of the spotted hyena

she craves the alien

space junk thieved from NASA

give her the fist of a cyberman

bring her the dick of a replicant

and tell her dramatic stories

about traumatic insemination

pretend you’re something else

oh yeah?

FANTASTIC

oh yeah?

FANTASTIC

oh yeah?

FANTASTIC

cheers mate

ah mate

ah